remember.

This was my brother

This was my brother
At Dieppe
Quietly a hero
Who gave his life
Like a gift,
Withholding nothing.

His youth...his love...
His enjoyment of being alive...
His future, like a book
With half the pages still uncut –

This was my brother
At Dieppe -
The one who built me a doll house
When I was seven,
Complete to the last small picture frame,
Nothing forgotten.

He was awfully good at fixing things,
At stepping into the breach when he was needed.
That’s what he did at Dieppe;
He was needed.
And even Death must have been a little shamed
At his eagerness!

- Mona Gould

can it be thursday?

on saturday morning i mused to le boy about the following weekend, were we doing any thing? not that he knew of, and could we keep it that way please? well yes, if by keeping it that way you meant, invite my mom over for the weekend. and so an early morning text to the true north was sent. and the response was affirmative. marvellous arrives on thursday night. and while i'm not really a mama's girl, i am a girl who loves her mama. and we count ourselves blessed to be able to see each other as frequently as we do, filling the gaps with phone calls and cards and emails and skype video chats. but it had been since july people, july. i'll see them all in december, briefly, but the focus will appropriately be on a.b.barton then and i want to give her all the attention she deserves. so a sneaky weekend in november seemed the only way to satisfy my craving for some marvellous time. landing late thursday evening, we have a weekend of fun prepared. i. cannot. wait.

in other news i'm moving. south of the river. to be nearer to le boy. and because my whole social life seems to occur below the water line. it's a jam-packed month, if i survive it, i'll blog it. i'm making for a.b.barton. musing the other gifts. contemplating travel (there's heaps of it before the end of the year!) and remembering that as much as i dislike the early darkness in london, i do love the city when it's all lit up at night. it's romantic in an old-standards kind of way. to that end, i've started a french course. have decided to re-enter the kitchen and would like to spend more time reading. november is going to be good. i can feel it.

friends visit and paparazzi us. what can i say?

on my own strength.

it's been a while since i've been on here. work and life and training and being injured :( and london and friends leaving and friends visiting and deciding to move and finishing up a course and starting a new course have all gotten in the way. it's been a series of weeks of go-go-go. and the few chances for rest haven't been terribly rejuvenating. and a few nights ago while washing my face, i was gently prodded to remember that i'm not all alone in this struggle. that my weary body and my care-filled heart and not mine to carry alone. and i was humbled.

so the prayer went something like: help me, help me, help me. which is what anne lamott says is her most frequent prayer. followed swiftly by: thank you, thank you, thank you. and the thing is - the burdens are lifted when we lay them at the feet of god. and there is rest found, however briefly, when i focus on his in-dwelling spirit. and i am re-readied for another day. and it is oh. so. good.