Thursday, 11 October 2012

thought collection.

i need to confess - last night i came into the house super late - like after 1030 late, and i'd still not eaten dinner. whoops. busy day at work, followed by a gym session, followed by a junior league meeting, followed by a glass of wine with the gals after JL...other than that, i cannot account for my subsequent actions. i can barely type this - i had, kraft dinner. which i believe is what canadians call mac & cheese from a box. if i'm honest i was hoping it would fill the void in my fridge. and my heart? i was sorta hoping that a remake of another time would happen when the most satisfying thing in the world was a bowl of kraft dinner. my sister and i used to make KD for sneaky saturday lunches when we were in highschool. ab could tell if the pasta was cooked properly just by stirring the pot. she generally likes to stir the pot. we'd eat it from bowls watching terrible saturday tv with tall glasses of cold milk. always in bowls, always eaten with forks.

it wasn't all that satisfying last night. maybe it's just not the same after you've grown up and left home and developed a better palate. but i think that maybe the key ingredients in KD have almost nothing to do with the taste of something that comes from a cardboard box...i think the key ingredients were probably my sister, and the way she'd commandeer the stirring of the pasta. that i was always the one to add just the right amount of milk and butter. that she'd insist on sprinkling the cheese powder just so. that we'd always have at least one fight and one laugh in the middle of its preparation.

maybe what i really wanted last night wasn't KD at all. maybe it was something familiar. everything these days seems like it's hazy. probably because it's been full steam ahead at work for almost two months now, and there's no release. and probably because it's fall and i love it, but that means that days are shorter here now, much much shorter. and maybe it's because i'm full-tilt busy.

on tuesday le boy met after work, ostensibly to hit the gym, but the traffic was terrible and i said, you know, we could not go to the gym - so we didn't. burgers and a dvd rental (moonrise kingdom) later, life seemed better, or maybe more manageable.

perhaps i've just over-committed. i've probably struggled with this forever. i want to do and be intentional with friends and make a difference in my community and exercise my creativity and live out what i understand god's call on my life to be.

today i bought four kinds of cereal while grocery shopping and i'm hoping that can re-invigorate my mornings. that might be placing too high a calling on cereal. i read this today and this yesterday afternoon, and i think i just might have to heed the suggestion - starting my day well, a little earlier perhaps, with prayer and some quiet physical activity.

we're going away in a couple of weeks. nothing fancy, just a cottage get-away in england. i'm hoping we walk for miles and enjoy the excitement of nothing. i'm planning a week of pre-prepped meals that keep you warm and full. i'm loading my kindle with quiet books. we're planning our dvd viewing. my two main requirements for the cottage: a bath tub and a fireplace. that's the kind of break we need.

it's one foot in front of the other friends. one foot. i think i'll make a roast this weekend. and bake some bread. and eat some cereal of course.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012


there's a chill in the air. it's definitely autumn around these parts. school has started back, leaves are covering the ground and it's thanksgiving this weekend.

if i'm honest i've felt a bit wordless. truly, my story's feeling a little bit stale. that is until i realise that my story is about so much more than the one thing that distracts me from the rest of the goodness. i'll be honest and say that i'm wrestling with my professional life at the moment, no longer feeling fulfilled in ways i used to be. i'm not sure what to do with the restlessness, but i also know that when god stirs you up, he's usually getting you ready for change.

::september recap::


  • tuned into the beth moore simulcast 
  • memorised psalm 68:11 & james 2:26 
  • read: crazy love (finally) it's crazy good, but crazy convicting also.
  • read: orange is the new black, entertaining, poignant  a memoir and an insight into the life of a prison inmate and how choices can have long lasting consequences. 
  • read: the orchardist, gripping. a novel that centres on how violence can be redeemed by love 
  • read: call the midwife, bbc made a television series from this collection of stories of a midwife in post-WWII eastend london, watch the mini-series sure, it was fascinating, but read the book
  • took a bit of a break, it was necessary and well received, by my body that is! 
  • finished the drapes! now hung and looking pretty. 
  • finished a knitted poncho, just my new favourite item in my wardrobe (photos coming)
  • made jersey scarves, liking the diy aspect 
the drapes. finally. 

::october intentions:: 

  • starting a new bible study with our homegroup on grace - so looking forward to what god is going to show us
  • keep reading (what else would i do?)
  • start training for a 10km, i'm desperate to start running in earnest again, but i need a goal! 
  • finish off the weight loss, i'm really happy with the progress, and i'd like to be finished by the end of the month! 
  • starting a photography course this month, so looking forward to learning more about this art form and not just pointing my camera at things that look pretty! 
  • working on a new knitted jumper
  • contemplating making this for our living room - big and cozy