quiet.

so i haven't been on here much lately, mainly because my post would consist of me chatting aimlessly about how busy i've been, but not actually able to show you anything for that busy-ness. and alas, i'm working to stay positive, so surely moaning online isn't the best solution?

and so in the spirit of staying positive, i want to tell you about how god has been keeping me humble these last few weeks.

i am a do-er. and a fix-er. and a get-stuff-done-er. and when there's as much going on in your life, as there is in mine, very little of those 'identities' are satisfied. but i'm learning (again) that my identity is not in what i've accomplished at the end of each day, but in how i went about my day. did i take time to meet with my friend who's shortly (tonight!) leaving? did i connect in a marathon skype session with one of my lovelies far away? did i meet with my god and ask him for his will and his way and his priorities?

i've been using some new resources in my prayer life recently and it's been so so so good. i'll keep testing my system before i share but one thing that i've been inspired to do is list my gratitude - my thanks for the day. i take whatever i can to get a line on the page filled. it's good to remember all the blessings he's bestowing on me moment by moment. and i've been using this calendar to pray for my (almost) husband. this has been good to focus my prayers on character attributes and skills that are so important, but often escape my daily recognition.

this morning i had a dream that NOTHING on my pre-wedding list was accomplished. that i decided to take a nap (a nap?) on the afternoon of our wedding and i somehow slept through my hair appointment, and woke with less than 15 minutes to spare before the ceremony. it was slightly panicking, but i woke up and remembered that my maid of honour will be sure to keep me to time, and that we'll get exactly everything accomplished that should be accomplished. this wedding is not about how perfect it looks, it's about the covenant we are entering into. a difficult, but important lesson for this do-er to remember.

self-care.

it can be so hard to give ourselves time can't it? i'm struggling with that a little as the (all good) commitments of life and relationship and wedding planning hover closely overhead.

july is my last month as a single girl - and while i'm so so so looking forward to marrying my love and going on honeymoon and creating a home and continuing to invest in the relationships that mean so much to me i'm also feeling a little overwhelmed.

so I've set some goals for July. i want to finish my single years feeling the best i possibly can about who i am. i want to carry that confidence into marriage.

to this end i've tried to make my life a little easier this month. i meal planned next week's meals and bought the groceries online. and i took myself for a payday treat and had a pedicure over lunch - definitely the best thing i've done for myself this week!

:goals for july 2011:

- read one novel
- daily quiet time and prayer (i'm usually good about this until i get busy and then it falls away when i need it most!)
- stick to my healthy eating plan and cook - it's way too easy to grab comfort food on-the-go when really those moments of preparing food and nourishing yourself are so important.
- complete the jillian michaels 30-day shred - exercise literally is my sanity!
- memorise proverbs 31:10-18 - i figure going to the SOURCE for wisdom on my new role as wife might be a good way to start marriage.

in reality, with a little planning this won't add any extra time to my days and will probably make me more productive. regardless, i'm pretty sure it's the only way i'll get through the last month before our wedding, tying up loose ends at work, taking a month off, moving house, attending various social engagements (including wedding II of the 2011 season!!) and keep my fiance still wanting to say 'i will' at the end of it all...


:posted on the go:

busy.

it's that time of year. work is full on. the summer is arriving (slowly) in london and the days stretch into night and before you realise it - hours have passed and it's too late, again. and we're getting married. less than two months from now, i will promise to be another's helper. to be a companion. to be a wife. gulp.

my initial reaction is panic - so much to do, not enough time! so much to learn, and i know so little! so much to think about and no space to slow down!

i've started making my quiet time a priority - first thing in the morning. before coffee or breakfast. before showering or getting dressed. before anything else, i spend some time in god's word. i meditate on his words and consider how they can impact my day, my life.

over lent le boy and i started texting each other every weekday morning (we usually end up seeing each other on weekend mornings), praying for each other. the texts aren't long. but it's a great way to remember that we submit our lives and our relationship to jesus in prayer, daily.

i cannot wait to live with my husband, to share coffee in the morning, and pray together before we start our days, but i'll miss the texts, the very visible reminders that we have been gifted to each other.

home-making.

well, we've found a flat! it is without a doubt, the biggest stressor that was on the pre-wedding list...getting married, eh - a piece of cake. finding a suitable flat, in the right area, for the right price, in a renter's city like london? the potential for tears was enormous.

the process actually began months ago - what was our vision for how we'd use the space? and then what kind of space would we need to achieve that? ultimately le boy and i wanted a place where we could be hospitable - dinners and lunches (breakfasts even?), a place large enough to host a bible study group and parties - gotta be able to throw a party - a place with the space to host overnight guests or short term visitors.

and then we asked - if we hope to do all of this, what will we need to feel able to do this? two bedrooms, a large dining area, a lounge, a functional kitchen, a garden with space for a dining table and some gardening (!?). and then for being really picky - a particular part of the city, close to our good friends, near a park, within 10 minutes of public transport, easy on the street parking, a dishwasher, a washer (AND DRYER), a ground floor flat, a place we could see ourselves renting for the longer-ish term, a terraced house. yep, we were PICKY. but the picky-ness was initially driven by our desire to be hospitable. and so we took these requests in prayer to god - and we've been praying for a flat with our 'dream' list for months. and wouldn't you know - we found a place with  every. last. thing. !!!

so what we'd anticipated to be a nightmare, was actually, a very simple, very blessed process (did i mention that we only looked at ONE flat?).

in our excitement we scheduled a trip to IKEA for a scouting mission. we sat on couches, laid on beds, discussed bookcases and shelving and decided that 930 pm is too late for a family of six with four children under four to be traipsing through the kitchen section (i think it's reasonable to say that babies might be a ways off...). but we've made some decisions about what we'd like to start off with and we've passed the all important IKEA test: can you make it through without fighting? apparently yes - which is basically enough confirmation that i've found my lobster...


for the first time ever i left ikea without actually buying a thing - which must be some kind of record! this is what the sky looked like as we left. we are very blessed indeed.

aprons!

as a thank you for hosting a wonderful bridal shower i wanted to give my sister and mom something handmade. being short on time i knew it had to be easy, and transportable. it also needed to be possible to make on my mother's old rickety sewing machine that i'm secretly hoping i can one day steal enjoy!

 it's a pain to work with, but man isn't it pretty?

on to the crafting:

i wanted to give them a copy of the hummingbird bakery cookbook. hummingbird is an american style bakery in london and most definitely takes the cake (pun intended) when it comes to baked goods. for sticky toffee or spotted dick (an actual dessert, i assure you) any kind of fruit crumble or anything that potentially tastes good with custard, the brits have it sewn up. however if we are talking cakes, cookies, squares or pie, the winners definitely reside on the other side of the pond! sometimes when one is a little homesick or wishes to take a great treat to a dinner party, the only reasonable answer is hummingbird cupcakes! what's even better is that the secrets have been released and the homebaker can also enjoy (no hummingbird is not compensating me for this endorsement, they're really just that good!).  i wanted to spread that love to a.b.barton and marvellous. a.b. is missing the hummingbird now that she's firmly ensconced back in TO, and well marvellous, she's retired now so surely there's time for baking?

but really, one needs a cute apron to bake in properly!

i found this super easy tutorial on skip to my lou. it uses a tea towel and ribbon to make a sweet and fast apron, with only two (!) seams! i got these tea towels from anthropologie, i can never imagine really using them to dry dishes, only to pretty up a kitchen (this may change when we are married and i have my own kitchen!) or in this case, make baking a little more fashionable.

a.b.barton has a thing for english bulldogs, so she was an easy choice. and mavellous likes anything that is made for her, so a sweet utensil motif did the trick!

i wrapped the aprons around the books rather than using bags or wrapping paper and used the ribbon as well, a ribbon! they were adored by both recipients - i just hope that the next time i'm home they're sure to put the cookbook to use!

i would definitely say this is an easy project that can be done in minutes, and makes a great gift, it's also a lovely way to use prettier tea towels!

showered.

going home was such a blessing. and one of the most overwhelming and wonderful days was the bridal shower that was thrown for me. hosted by my wonder maid of honour: a.b.barton and mother of the bride: marvellous! the details were fantastic the food was incredible and the presents were an enormous blessing. but as with all parties, the people were who made the day.

it was simply amazing to be surrounded by women who had poured their lives into mine over the years. i looked around the room and realised that it definitely took a village to raise this child and i was so grateful that so many had chosen to love on me over the years. women who have loved me like a daughter, women who listened as i working out who i was, women who encouraged me as i walked with the lord. there were women who had been there from the very beginning, and women who known me as a child. girlfriends who shared all that highschool and early twenties have to offer and friends of my mom who have been around since before i could remember. to say i was blessed by their love and presence is an understatement.

 

and it got me to thinking - when you gather up those people who are really important in your life, particularly your formative years, how intentionally or not, we need for others to help usher children into adulthood. and so in many ways, i was most grateful for parents who not only allowed other adults to speak into our lives and love on us, but also encouraged and supported these people's investment in our growing up.

it was wonderful. heartfelt thanks to all who attended and to my sister and mom and cousin who outdid themselves with hosting and helping!

an engagement - part deux.

and now for all the pictures....




an engagement - part duex from Brieanne Barton on Vimeo.


song: for the love of god - andrew peterson
photography: jay butcher photography
styling: j&b originals

an engagement.

we had the joy of meeting up with a friend of mine from a previous job, who moonlights as a photographer for an engagement shoot last month. the proofs are in and we are thrilled! it was an incredibly fun day with lots of laughs and jay did such a great job of capturing the feel of london.

 

photography: jay butcher photography

florida.

we had a fabulous trip home over easter, it was made all the sweeter by a quick and fun shopping trip with marvellous!

we were intending to go to new york city for a shopping trip, but when the thermometer was to top out at 12 C, we reconsidered. gotta love airline family life! a quick itinerary change, a great deal on a hotel, and 12 hours later we were in the warmth of fort myers, florida.

my extended family seems to have some kind of irrisistable pull toward fort myers. my grandparents on both sides were snowbirds, but my mom's parents wintered every year at fort myers beach. apparently it's still the locale of choice for florida-bound ladies, all these years later. we stayed at the hyatt at coconut point - literally a hotel in the middle of an outdoor mall - i tell you it was pure genius!

our main reason for the trip was to improve my wardrobe going into marriage - basically i needed honeymoon clothes and since was down to (literally) one pair of work-appropriate trousers, something for work...so what did we do in florida? we shopped. and shopped. and shopped some more. the deals were fantastic, the clothes were lovely. when we weren't shopping we ate. panera and five guys and california pizza kitchen. it was heaven. and drastically improved by the HOT weather - we're talking 30 C!!!

our two days simply weren't enough. not enough time for shopping and definitely not enough time for talking. we talked and talked and talked! marvellous and i can go for hours without any interruption - really, it's a gift! we saved our last afternoon for a little pool time. and while the shopping was awesome, really what was greatest about it, was this very special 48 hours i got to spend with my mom. it was a bit of an homage to the quick trips we used to take when i was in university, and while i'm sure we'll travel together again, who knows if it will ever just be the two of us? so in some ways, it was also a really wonderful way to close out this chapter of my life - of our lives - we're heading toward a wedding people, and we all know that's going to shake things up a bit!

will i love him enough?

Will I love him enough, I wonder?  Will I sing to his soul? Will I simply be enough?

I am preparing for marriage. To my best friend.  To my favourite person. To the one I am certain the Lord has purposed me for. And I wonder if I will love him enough? Which becomes – will he love me enough? The way we feel now, will it always be this way?

No.

And yes....

click here to continue.

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engagement.

we were so blessed a few weeks ago when we gathered our nearest and dearest here in london and celebrated what we consider to be our greatest blessing. it is an astounding thing - to look across a room and think 'they are here for me...' it is ever more astounding when this girl, who wondered when it would be her time, realises that it's all because the one for whom she is purposed, has found her. the grace of our lord is never-ending.

immense thanks to all who came, particularly marvellous who travelled an ocean to be with us. my mama is gold.

big thanks to our friend, the very talented mr venz - we will treasure these shots...

a happy couple.

marvellous.

 

the best man.

 

my lovely ladies.

roommates.

 

i want you!

lent : letting go.

i am endeavouring to engage in the practice of lent. it is a season that speaks deeply to me. it is a time that i have often been blessed by extended bible study, prayer, and reflection. it is my sincere hope that this season is also fruitful as i meditate on the significance of christ's sacrifice and the ultimate celebration in the christian year - easter. i am hoping to post a reflection daily on my lent page, also found on the header above. on wednesdays i'll be linking up with walk with him wednesdays on a holy experience. i invite you to join me.

lent 1
joel 2:12-17 & matthew 6:16-21

i have been thinking a lot about letting go - about what i am letting go of as my fiancé and i walk toward marriage. a few weeks ago a trusted friend suggested that perhaps i wasn't observing the loss of my singleness. that stopped me. i think i spent my whole life wanting to be married. i prayed and prayed for god to bring me a godly man. i prayed and prayed for that godly man. and now, the godly man has arrived! but i am most comfortable with single-brie. i am most at home with her. i've known single-brie my whole life. and because i had prayed for a husband, because i had wanted this (wonderful!) thing so badly, it seemed wrong to say - but wait, i'm not sure that all of this is comfortable. but, it isn't all comfortable. and it's not meant to be.

if marriage is for our holiness, not our happiness, then this process of sanctification is, as with all processes of sanctification, going to involve some discomfort.

i am learning to let go of my singleness, my independence, my 'complete control' of my daily life. i am learning to bend my will to my beloved's. i am learning to mark those times when i realise i'm saying 'goodbye' to old ways. i'm learning it doesn't all happen overnight. i'm grateful for a fiancé who is gracious enough to pause with me when it all feels very fast.

the reading for today comes from joel. in joel 2:15-17 we read that the entire community needs to be present for the community's sins to be forgiven.

 ^15-17 Blow the ram's horn trumpet in Zion!
   Declare a day of repentance, a holy fast day.
Call a public meeting.
   Get everyone there. Consecrate the congregation.
Make sure the elders come,
   but bring in the children, too, even the nursing babies,
Even men and women on their honeymoon—
   interrupt them and get them there.
Between Sanctuary entrance and altar,
   let the priests, God's servants, weep tears of repentance.
Let them intercede: "Have mercy, God, on your people!
   Don't abandon your heritage to contempt.
Don't let the pagans take over and rule them
   and sneer, 'And so where is this God of theirs?'"  (Joel 2:16, The Message)

i was wondering what this was saying - why were a newly-married couple included specifically in this list? a little research reminded me that according to jewish custom, after the wedding the bride and groom  spent seven days apart from the community in a special room that the bridegroom prepared for their honeymoon. i began to reflect on what this implies: firstly, that during moments of great difficulty, like the one described in joel, the whole community is to be present - no one gets to opt-out. but secondly, i think it's a reminder to the newly-weds of the importance of community. so often i have seen newly-weds withdraw from the community, because they now have each other. it's a reminder that we are still part of a community, that we are required to show up and be present. that actually, we are not allowed to opt out.

this piece of the passage, in a strange way has brought some peace to my soul about 'letting go' my singleness - that while i will no longer be single-brie, i will still have so much of what single-brie has - and at the top of this list is the community that we are so blessed to live with.

prayer:
holy god - as we prepare for easter, for the deep sorrow of good friday, the confusion of holy saturday and the joy of a risen king on easter sunday, please prepare our hearts. lord, i pray that you will bless all reading this, that there will be sanctification, and that as we enter these dark days of lent we can also look with hopful expectation to the life we have reborn in a risen christ. amen.