cheering stones.

lent 43

luke 19:28-40 & phil 2:5-11

preparing to enter easter is such a dichotomy of emotions. easter is at once the darkest day of our year and the moment of brightest hope.

i've been listening to the communion hymn by stuart townend. it is simply one of the most powerful renderings of the hope of the cross and the remembrance we create when we take part in the eucharist.

as we share in his suffering, we proclaim christ will come again, and we'll join in the feast of heaven, around the table of the king

in luke 19 we read of jesus' entrance into jerusalem, of the shouts for joy and the excitement of his followers. we read of the religious leaders rebuking jesus for the crowd's reaction. and jesus says  - 'if they kept quiet, the stones along the road would burst into cheers!' we are a faith built on a dichotomy - i am broken and stumbling and sinful, but i can never atone for my sins, jesus, the sinless man, is the only one who can make me whole. and when this is clear to us - we cannot help but celebrate the darkest day in history.

it is my prayer that as we enter the darkness of good friday, we not lose sight of the joy that awaits us as we await the resurrection.

rest.

lent 36

psalm 130 & exodus 34:28

i've previously written that my theology of rest could use some brushing up. i like doing. i love being productive - to the point that i carry a knitting bag & a book around with me pretty much all the time - just in case i get a chance for either...

but i am learning how intentional i need to be with building rest into my daily life.

in exodus 34 we read that moses left the people and waited on the mountain for 40 days - while god wrote the terms of the covenant. i imagine there was great rest for moses during this time. this period of being apart. and then indeed the lord commands us to rest -

21 "Work six days and rest the seventh. Stop working even during plowing and harvesting.  (exodus 34:21, MSG)

i am going home for easter. it will be two weeks of busyness and much wedding prep. but hopefully, it will also be a time of rest. of sleeping that deep, hard sleep, only possible in your parents' house. of the contentedness that can come when you know you are home. yes, i am going home for a rest. i'm just praying that i get through the time leading up!

prayer: 

father - you have commanded us to rest, to rest in you. help us to remove the busy from our lives, to slow down and be with you. as we prepare for easter, prepare our hearts for the rest that can only come from you and is only possible because of jesus. amen.

a masterpiece.

lent 29

ephesians 2:1-10 & numbers 21:4-9

10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. eph.2:10

i forget i'm a masterpiece.

the NIV reads 'we are god's handiwork.' 

perhaps because i spend so much of my time doing handiwork. this concept of being god's handiwork, being his masterpiece speaks deeply to my soul. i think of how much of my time and attention my handiwork commands - that's it's not a burden to work on it, to craft it, to put my stamp on it. and i know the pride i feel when it's completed or when a difficult part is figured out. and i can't help but think that's maybe a taste of how god feels - that because we are his masterpiece, that as we are refined in him, as we go through difficult patches or complete a stage of our learning, that it's prepared us for the 'good things planned for us long ago.'

but this is lent and we are focussing on our journey to easter, so it is essential that we see there's a few words in between being his masterpiece and doing the good...he has created us anew in jesus!

i am masterpiece, despite all i do wreak it. and jesus in his work on the cross, redeems what i do to destroy the lord's handiwork. in that redemption i am re-made again, and again, his masterpiece, and i am then able through him alone, to do what he has planned for me.

i am a masterpiece.

and so are you.

prayer: 

lord, it is so easy to forget that we are your handiwork, that we need the work of jesus on the cross, to be able to do what you have purposed us for. remind us lord, that we are your masterpiece, renew us lord, in your son jesus, and use us lord, for your purposes. amen.

going.

i am endeavouring to engage in the practice of lent. it is a season that speaks deeply to me. it is a time that i have often been blessed by extended bible study, prayer, and reflection. it is my sincere hope that this season is also fruitful as i meditate on the significance of christ's sacrifice and the ultimate celebration in the christian year - easter. i am hoping to post a reflection daily on my lent page, also found on the header above. on wednesdays i'll be linking up with walk with him wednesdays on a holy experience. i invite you to join me. 

lent 22. 

isaiah 6

8 Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” isaiah 6:8

as a child and teenager attending christian summer camp i sang the song 'here i am lord' no less than a few hundred times. it was a tried and true favourite of most staff members, and many campers. it was the perfect speed for communion time on a sunday night, with the lights low and small faces lit up by flickering candlelight. in the bible we see again and again as the lord calls out and asks who can i send? and time and again we see people say - send me, god.

the chorus of the song reads:

here i am, lord. is it i, lord?
i have heard you calling in the night.
i will go lord, if you lead me,
i will hold your people in my heart.

i remember singing that song with enormous conviction as a teenager, but not really appreciating what it could mean, what i was committing myself to. at the time i was probably thinking it meant that i might go and work in a developing nation, that i needed to study to do so. i was probably thinking it had something to do with where i was going to study. and one night particularly i can remember singing the song, sitting cross-legged on the worn wooden floor of the camp chapel, my back against an old bench, the others leading worship with me taking harmonies, i can remember feeling very much like i was in that space that summer to love on the teenagers i was working with, to hold them in my heart.

and so i suppose what i've now realised years later. is that going sometimes means 'going' i did work in a developing country and study a subject that was related. i've also lived and worked abroad for the majority of my adult life. but, i've put down roots, i've made friends and god has blessed me with a great and loving community. a community that is filled with people, who's joys and sadnesses are my great gain to share. i am still learning how to hold them in my heart. what i've realised is that we are part of an apostolic church, a church that is sent into the world to preach the good news of the cross. and sometimes going, means staying right where you are.

forgetting the past.

i am endeavouring to engage in the practice of lent. it is a season that speaks deeply to me. it is a time that i have often been blessed by extended bible study, prayer, and reflection. it is my sincere hope that this season is also fruitful as i meditate on the significance of christ's sacrifice and the ultimate celebration in the christian year - easter. i am hoping to post a reflection daily on my lent page, also found on the header above. on wednesdays i'll be linking up with walk with him wednesdays on a holy experience. i invite you to join me.

lent 15.

phil 3:12-21 & 4

13 ...but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead Phil 3:13

 
 forgetting the past. whew. i struggle with this one. i struggle with remembering that god has already forgotten - that he has removed our transgressions from us as far away as the east is from the west. i struggle to remember to look ahead.

confession: i can be incredibly myopic.  i can focus on exactly what is in front of me and ever better i can focus on what i have done. mainly, what i have done wrong. but slowly and surely i am getting better. i am looking forward. i am taking my thoughts captive to my saviour and asking him to fill my mind with his thoughts.

i *know* he has wiped clean my slate of sin, i am facing his glory with joyful expectation.


prayer:
train my eyes on you alone jesus. help me, help me, help me. amen and amen and amen.

hunger.

i am endeavouring to engage in the practice of lent. it is a season that speaks deeply to me. it is a time that i have often been blessed by extended bible study, prayer, and reflection. it is my sincere hope that this season is also fruitful as i meditate on the significance of christ's sacrifice and the ultimate celebration in the christian year - easter. i am hoping to post a reflection daily on my lent page, also found on the header above. on wednesdays i'll be linking up with walk with him wednesdays on a holy experience. i invite you to join me.

lent 8. 

deuteronomy 8:3 & psalm 51:17

3 He put you through hard times. He made you go hungry. Then he fed you with manna, something neither you nor your parents knew anything about, so you would learn that men and women don’t live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God’s mouth. Deut 8:3

he put you through hard times. my god puts me through hard times? i have a feeling this is one of the hardest things to grasp as a christian. why would the lord, who does all things for good, allow bad? i know that it's not because he likes to see his children suffer or because he enjoys the bad. i know that it's not because it's his preferred way of teaching. but sometimes, it's his only way of teaching. sometimes we need to go hungry, we need to be starved. 

hunger is a good thing. it signals when we need to feed ourselves again. it's necessary to ensure that we get the nourishment we need to live out our daily lives. i have never 'starved' for food. and i cannot imagine the desperation that overtakes your life when food is scarce, or difficult to find, or you are unable to pay for it. but i have been in starved spiritually. three years ago i was in the most lenten place i've ever encountered. it was a desert. i was deeply lost in a wilderness and all the things i normally used to feed myself - my parents, my friends, school, work - were stripped away from me. it was a desert. it was barren. and it was HARD. i felt that i was being brought to the edge of myself. i had been finding my identity in the things i done - my accomplishments in education and work, my fun friends who wanted to be friends with me, my family who was so proud of what i'd completed in a short time. but, when i was stripped bare - i also was forced to depend only on the SOURCE of all good things. how can this be good, i asked? 

and so like the israelites - i learned that i didn't live on bread alone - that who i was, was not defined by my accomplishments, my job, my education, my friends or even my family. who i was, who i am, is fully and wholly defined by my status as daughter of the king. that my 'good' works were nothing, that i depended solely on the grace of my abba-father. who, true to his word, stooped down and listened to my prayers, who bound me up and carried me in those deepest of dark moments, who sent helpers to love me at my most unlovable, who was working all of this for good. 

i don't doubt his goodness in the midst of that desert. and while it was a hard road and a time of complete bewilderment - i know that going hungry was the only way.  

prayer: 
thank you jesus for your rescue. thank you for listening to my prayers, for binding me up in your love and for showing me your ultimate goodness. lord, if the only way is for hunger, then make me hungry. teach me to depend on you alone. help me to trust in your way. remind me to turn to you again and again. amen. 

lent : letting go.

i am endeavouring to engage in the practice of lent. it is a season that speaks deeply to me. it is a time that i have often been blessed by extended bible study, prayer, and reflection. it is my sincere hope that this season is also fruitful as i meditate on the significance of christ's sacrifice and the ultimate celebration in the christian year - easter. i am hoping to post a reflection daily on my lent page, also found on the header above. on wednesdays i'll be linking up with walk with him wednesdays on a holy experience. i invite you to join me.

lent 1
joel 2:12-17 & matthew 6:16-21

i have been thinking a lot about letting go - about what i am letting go of as my fiancé and i walk toward marriage. a few weeks ago a trusted friend suggested that perhaps i wasn't observing the loss of my singleness. that stopped me. i think i spent my whole life wanting to be married. i prayed and prayed for god to bring me a godly man. i prayed and prayed for that godly man. and now, the godly man has arrived! but i am most comfortable with single-brie. i am most at home with her. i've known single-brie my whole life. and because i had prayed for a husband, because i had wanted this (wonderful!) thing so badly, it seemed wrong to say - but wait, i'm not sure that all of this is comfortable. but, it isn't all comfortable. and it's not meant to be.

if marriage is for our holiness, not our happiness, then this process of sanctification is, as with all processes of sanctification, going to involve some discomfort.

i am learning to let go of my singleness, my independence, my 'complete control' of my daily life. i am learning to bend my will to my beloved's. i am learning to mark those times when i realise i'm saying 'goodbye' to old ways. i'm learning it doesn't all happen overnight. i'm grateful for a fiancé who is gracious enough to pause with me when it all feels very fast.

the reading for today comes from joel. in joel 2:15-17 we read that the entire community needs to be present for the community's sins to be forgiven.

 ^15-17 Blow the ram's horn trumpet in Zion!
   Declare a day of repentance, a holy fast day.
Call a public meeting.
   Get everyone there. Consecrate the congregation.
Make sure the elders come,
   but bring in the children, too, even the nursing babies,
Even men and women on their honeymoon—
   interrupt them and get them there.
Between Sanctuary entrance and altar,
   let the priests, God's servants, weep tears of repentance.
Let them intercede: "Have mercy, God, on your people!
   Don't abandon your heritage to contempt.
Don't let the pagans take over and rule them
   and sneer, 'And so where is this God of theirs?'"  (Joel 2:16, The Message)

i was wondering what this was saying - why were a newly-married couple included specifically in this list? a little research reminded me that according to jewish custom, after the wedding the bride and groom  spent seven days apart from the community in a special room that the bridegroom prepared for their honeymoon. i began to reflect on what this implies: firstly, that during moments of great difficulty, like the one described in joel, the whole community is to be present - no one gets to opt-out. but secondly, i think it's a reminder to the newly-weds of the importance of community. so often i have seen newly-weds withdraw from the community, because they now have each other. it's a reminder that we are still part of a community, that we are required to show up and be present. that actually, we are not allowed to opt out.

this piece of the passage, in a strange way has brought some peace to my soul about 'letting go' my singleness - that while i will no longer be single-brie, i will still have so much of what single-brie has - and at the top of this list is the community that we are so blessed to live with.

prayer:
holy god - as we prepare for easter, for the deep sorrow of good friday, the confusion of holy saturday and the joy of a risen king on easter sunday, please prepare our hearts. lord, i pray that you will bless all reading this, that there will be sanctification, and that as we enter these dark days of lent we can also look with hopful expectation to the life we have reborn in a risen christ. amen.