Wednesday, 9 February 2011


the third reflection on marriage from an engaged girl. read the first one here. and the second one here.

recently in marriage prep we were encouraged to make time for our marriage - the leaders literally call it 'marriage time.' (we're working on another name...) but the suggestion is that you build time in daily, weekly and yearly to invest in your marriage as a couple. we had a great time thinking and dreaming of all the things we could do for marriage time - all the things we like to do together - and there are dozens.

i suppose a fear (concern?) of mine is that once we get married, we'll forget to remember to invest in the relationship. we'll be done 'dating,' and while i want to be married, i still want date, i still want to do fun things and learn more about my partner and build our relationship in way that can only happen when you set aside time to be with each other. and so i'm writing this down - to remember not to forget that making time is important. that intentionally making time - which we're very good at right now, is something at which we need to get better.

daily time:
  • eating together daily
  • praying together
  • intentionally showing affection 
  • speaking in kindness & love
  • acting thoughtfully toward one another
weekly time:
  • date night 
  • running
  • bike rides 
  • going for walks 
  • weekend brunch 
  • attending a lecture or event 
  • seeing a movie or play
  • going out for dinner 
yearly time:
  • a weekend away - by ourselves

we do so many of these things on a regular basis already, but there is the possibility to become 'used' to each other. i do not want to take my husband for granted. i want to revel in his love, and he in mine, and i want the love we share to reflect christ's love to world.

we're away this weekend - in a favourite place, doing a favourite thing - skiing! i am so excited to spend the weekend with my love, sharing something we both love. i don't for a second doubt god's purposing us for each other - there is just too much we share - and i am so looking forward to establishing a good habit of investing time with one another.

 12-14So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
 15-17Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.  (Colossians 3:12-17, The Message)


  1. Hello :)
    I stopped over from A Holy Experience... and from one engaged girl to another, I loved your insights about marriage :)

  2. These things can be a reality when you put your husband first. You have no idea how exhausted you will be when children come, and they're worth it. But it is an enormous amount of work to put your husband first when you are so exhausted and walking through a fog. But it can be done. Enjoy these days. Build a solid base so that when the storms blow, it holds secure.