Wednesday, 9 November 2011

operation: preparation

we have grace of time right now. we have the grace of knowing what is coming next. we have been allowed to prepare.

in a week i will benefit from decades of research and medicine, i will have medicine repair what cannot heal naturally. my knee, injured in a skiing accident, has kept me much more sedate than i would prefer. i long to run hard and fast (for me) along the pavement. i long to sit cross-legged on the floor. i will, in time. i will have surgery to repair what cannot be healed all on its own. ligaments do not naturally heal. but they can be healed with invasive and intense surgery.

isn't that what god does on us? there are parts of us that cannot be healed with just time, or tenderness. there are parts of us that require much more. so while we favour that part of ourselves, learn to protect it from harm, learn to not sit cross-legged, it never actually heals, it cannot heal on its own. and we require god-surgery. on our souls.

i said that god has given us the gracious gift of time. i go in for surgery in a week, but we've known about this for months, we've known about the long recovery. we've been able to make provisions for that time. marvellous is offering up herself to us that week - we are humbled by her willingness to leave life and come walk with us through the early stages of healing. the slowcooker is working overtime as i prepare meals to be frozen, and i get the house in order. le boy is making minor adjustments to our living space that will make major adjustments to my (our) quality of life. our friends are praying and planning for food and company. we have been provided time to prepare. 

and god gives us this time before be have soul surgery also. he allows us time to clear our schedules and simplify our lives. to prepare for the healing. for the recovery. years ago, before i spent time sorting through who i was called to be, god made space. a job that allowed me time off for appointments, a friend to live with who was supportive, an income that provided. i trained a marathon that year. i was broken of all my defences. and because i no longer could shield the parts of me that i protected, i handed them to him and he was merciful. 

he is always gracious. and he has provided for preparation. 

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