Thursday, 6 October 2011


on a wing and a prayer

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recently a friend of mine remarked on the intricacies of couples befriending couples. it's actually a little bit difficult. there are lots of people who i like. and there's lots of people le boy likes. but that doesn't necessarily mean that the other is going to like the friend's other. confusing right?

i recently read in a 'marriage book' that if a couple can find another two couples with whom to become very good friends, in their ENTIRE marriage, then you've had a very good run at this thing called friendship. in all honesty, this is still incredibly new for us - and we've had the head start of being friends for the three years prior to dating. which means that we actually share a significant number of friends already. there are ways that marriage has now changed this dynamic. there are ways that mutual friends new partners have changed this dynamic. but here are some of the things i've noticed to make the process of couple friendship a little easier.

for really good friends, two-on-two dinners are great. particuarly if the dinner is at one of the couple's houses. it makes things a little bit more relaxed, a little bit softer. i personally feel that the expectations are a little less like a job interview.

for friends where you're not sure how the whole dynamic is going to go down - doing something with a few couples together or with a group can be good way to get to know each other.

activity double dates are really fun! go hiking together, or out for a picnic. these are perfect opportunities for the different pairings for conversation to happen - girl and girl, guy and guy and girl with guy.

i'm a big believer in needing to have a friendship between the sexes - it's not enough for just the guys and just the girls to get on - it's essential that each person likes the other three.

and finally, this is not going to be built overnight. and this may take some thought. we need to think intentionally about making friendships.

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